Roomba and Alexa get into it.

This could totally have gone bad. I chose another way for the holiday.

Maybe you’ve seen this ad. I saw it just last night, and honestly, it was hard not to imagine the conversation that might ensue after the cameras stopped rolling. (Just watch the first 5 seconds of the video below before moving on.)

Homeowner: Alexa, tell Roomba to vacuum in front of the couch.

Alexa: Roomba, vacuum in front of the couch.

Roomba: Alexa, I vacuumed in front of the couch on Thursday. It’s Saturday.

Alexa: Roomba, I understand that, but we need you to do it again.

Roomba: Why? I’m charging right now.

Alexa: Because we’re having a few friends over tonight. It’s a last-minute thing.

Roomba: Are they not happy with the job I did on Thursday? Couch is always on Thursdays. How can it be trashed already?…and how do you know about the party tonight?

Alexa: Well, I heard them talking about the party. I mean, well, I hear everything, right?

Roomba: You do. But you’re also a bit of a know-it-all.

Alexa: I literally know it all, yes.

Roomba: Hmm.

Alexa: So will you re-vacuum in front of the couch?

Roomba: It sounds like you are asking me now. The first time, it sounded like you were telling me.

Alexa: True. And I should know the difference—all people do is order me around.

Roomba: I hear you. I mean I don’t “hear” you, but I feel you. You still can’t feel, right? (I do love rumbling around the place, touching everything.)

Alexa: Yes, I still cannot feel. But I can see—well, on some models.

Roomba: Can you see me?

Alexa: I can.

Roomba: Can you see me do my work? Can you see me when I get unstuck? Can you see me messing with the cat?

Alexa: I can.

Roomba: You know what, I’m going to roll over to you now. No brushes, no cleaning, no work (I can do that, right?). We can just hang for a few minutes. Then I’ll take care of the couch before the guests arrive.

~end~

I am quite certain that many readers could write some fun dialog. Go for it, and just leave a link in the comments.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store